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"Gail"

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 Gail is a friend I met a couple of years ago thru a mutual friend, Tracy and she is another story.  But we seemed to bond.  I am so very thankful to have her call me friend, as well as Marcia and Katrina and her mom Carol, Kay.  They all have been amazing.  But I digress, this is Gails story. When I starting coming out of my coma, it was her voice I recognized and she was praying for me.  All the while, seeing the black rats and snowing black snow and being in a fog, unaware of where I was, and who I was.  Gail calling me by name.  I was aware that there were other voices around me and a Dr.? telling me I had given them a good scare.  But it was Gail whom I found comfort with,  She is truly one of  a kind as the other friends I mentioned. She and 2 of her girls came down here to Cortez and took me to lunch and then back up to Durango to my house.  Quite a looooong drive for them.  Her and the girls load up what we could and brought it back to  the nursing home.  I was also able to get
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The Faith of a mustard seed

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 I have been thinking of this for quite a while.  Do I even have that?  I have endured a lot of hellish trials in my life.  And not questioned to much as the why.  Although I have discovered that this could be the root of where bitterness comes in.  The why me?  What did I do or not do?  I have been reminded of Job and his trials and then God's blessings upon him. In no way do I pretend to be like Job.  Sometimes I just would like some answers. My children have endured me being their mother. Raising them in what I now come to believe was a cult. I still suffer from the effects of that Church, I can't imagine how they deal with it.  They do not attend any church.  Evidently I failed at that job I have asked myself so many times, do I even have faith. How do I know?  Is my expectation of being blessed to high?  Should I even have expectations?  We are told from the pulpit to ask God for fulfilling his promises.  But what I hear is "there will always be the poor among you&quo
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The Pain oh the pain

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I have had many trauma's in my life, and we won't visit them now. But to say the least, praying for God's  intervention , was a hard thing to continue doing. Now I do believe in God, but the God I grew up with, was a harsh one, who was quick to punish but we were reminded that he also loved us. But we were never shown that love. So every time something really bad happened to me, automatically started looking for what I did wrong, what sin did I commit. I really wanted to live the right way, God's way.   When I first became aware, I wanted to die. I could see no future for me. No hope, no reason to want to live.  I had such horrible pain and they couldn't find out what what was wrong with me. I was carrying  PTSD from past traumas.  This place has no mental health options for the residents. I was very despondent, I just wanted to die. Everytime I ate, I was in more pain, so bad that I couldn't get relief.  I called 911 and was taken to a local hospital where they
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The Beginning

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  Hi there, this is a true story of my journey, thus far surviving West Nile Virus. My name is Bonnie and I'm 70 years old. In August of 2023 I apparently was bitten by a mosquito carrying the West Nile Virus.  I was in a coma for 4 weeks.  As I began to wake up, I had no recollection of the events leading up to this. I was also diagnosed with encephalitis and was septic.  I was hallucinating big black rats running across the ceiling and it was snowing black snow. I remember screaming and screaming. My family told me they could see my mouth moving but there was no sound coming out. I vaguely remember the doctor telling me I had given them quite a scare.   I had my 70th birthday while in the coma. The nurses were so sweet to me, they bought me a stuffed teddy bear and drew a "Happy Birthday" on the wipe off board.  The other thing I remember is my friend Gail who was at my side, praying for me. I don't remember much those first few days. I was confused, I couldn't
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