OOPS

 opps, Help me I've fallen and I can't get up. Ya, didn't hurt myself, but I was on the floor. Interesting situation, I could have called for help BUT I needed to see if I could get up on my own. YES I did it. Took a while, but I did it.

I had a really bad night, I'm having allergies get me then. I can't imagine what is causing it. Bummer. But it means that I don't sleep. And I am doing my best to not take the Tylenol. Ok, I am reminded that I have been thru hell the last year. Therapist says don't be so hard on yourself. I really don't know how not to be.

I feel like a failure. My definition? Having to depend on someone else for anything. I know, cry me a river...Living on the Hill, I would just do what I please. Continuing my skills of problem solving, which I excelled at. And now I have encountered a problem that I am unable to solve, and thus a failure. When I put my mind on finding a solution, I find that my physical limitations are getting in my way. BooHoo. I say with a bit of sarcasm.

I grew up with a Father who was handicapped. His spine was set, and he could walk with canes, he shuffled. He was an angry man, but a very artistic man. I watched him do stuff that a lot of healthy people would not do. I wish I could talk to him about this, but he's bee.n gone over 30 years. He taught me to silversmith. More about my mother, later, who also was a great artist.

Maybe, I am denying that I have limitations, and be more accepting of those limitations. Telling myself that this is temporary. Look what I have accomplished so far. YES I do push myself. Even when the ceramic art business was going full force and then we suffered a fire and lost everything, home and business. A temporary set back....maybe that's how I should treat this.

See, problem solving. My brain never shuts down, thus I must keep going, I am looking forward to having space to use the wheelchair freely move around to do my artwork. I am coming up with ideas to make it work for a disabled person, Maybe it will help others.

Keeping this blog is certaining helping my attitude. I'm actually smiling. Giving thanks to God for all the blessings. Especially today....I was able to get off the floor. Peace out Peeps.










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