Two weeks out

 I am so glad that I get to see my dr. tomorrow,  I am having such fits with my stomach.  Dry heaves this morning, after I took my shower.  I am despondent on what I consider a set back.  I can't figure out if I am not eating often enough or too much, which I doubt that.  I had mac and cheese for lunch and I did have a late breakfast.  But showering allowed me to move around, which is good but not good when tummy goes awry.  

I don't really know what was on my mind, I guess I would be healed of all the little things?  That I would not need assistance?  High expectations, guess I need to make them a tad lower, realistic ones. 

I was up a bit more cleaning up my room, putting small things away. Maybe that was to much.  I feel lost again.  Unable to control my emotions, and even that could be causing stomach issues.  After all I do have an ulcer.  Go figure.  I have become accustomed to sadness in my life and today is one of them.   I feel useless and depending on others is not working for me. I don't like to ask.  Stubborn is what my MOM would call it. 

This is kinda how I feel today  From Hee Haw

Gloom, Despair And Agony On Me  (1969)

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

I stand 6 foot 8 when I'm completely unfurled
And to find a mate I've looked all over this world
Then a store downtown advertised everything for us tall guys
And they had everything except tall girls

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

I knew a gal who lived high up on a hill
Every Friday night, she'd give my heart a thrill
One night I came a-callin', I ran down the hill a-bawlin'
Cause she'd run off with some old fart named Bill

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

We figured she was rich, loaded to the hilt
And we figured she had class like the Vanderbilts
'Cause we had heard for years how she was so well reared
How was we to know they meant the way she was built

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

https://www.youtube.com › watch  

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